Carpe Diem

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Mobile Uploads

I'm having one of those nights again, can't sleep, don't feel like watching anything, listened to the Radio until I almost went mad. Its 1.30a.m. I was looking through my Samsung phone, found a lot of good times pictures spanning the past year or so. Being jobless, thought I'd put it up, for fun but also because,I miss certain things, like KTJ, Home..etc but not miss in an emo way, in a .. imissitgoodmemorieskindaway.

This was the week when I went crazy shoe shopping. Aldos I got my white flip flops, Charles&Keith two pairs I think, one was a white flat. Brera, you will see the flats below, the shoe hurts like a bitch though, I discovered that Brera and Nose are owned by the same people :) Brera obviously more up scale, but I can't say the quality differs much -.- Oh and Mango, those, I took a long time to decide whether to buy, it was either buy shoe or buy lunch. Chose the shoe evidently.

I worked out a lot the past year, ran a lot(by my standards okayh!) Anyway, my legs don't look like that anymore, since Notts, its gotten like thinner but not in a god way, I look very disproportionate not. Oh well, that's what walking up and down the Downs does you I suppose. I also haven't seen my legs much since coming here, when I wear skirts, I wear stockings, otherwise its jeans.

These are the Brera flats, my parents were shopping, so I decided to plop myself down to camwhore. I like the shape, curve it forms see there. I like really strange things.

My room. Aih, I miss my room. God, to have a double bed, to have an en-suite bathroom, to have a good sound system, with good lights and controllable temperature. I will hibernate for a week when I'm home, I swear. It's not that its that bad here, its tolerable here, but after awhile especially nearing the holidays it gets a little annoying. The Xmas deco are ady up in the City, skating rink, very festive, not good to be stuck in the Halls.

I found this, I didn't even remember this was the entrance to my house. LOL.

Ah, my cousin came for a visit before I left to come here, I brought her around. Ended up having quite a long chat at Nadeje(I dunno how to spell it). Anyway, she and I have never really had a conversation proper before, so I guess it was good.

Met up with Ruban as well before I left, he was nice enough to meet me all the way in Jusco :) That's his beaten up sorry excuse of a phone, I found it quite fascinating. It's very odd when I think, its like one minute you're dating the person and very lovey dovey and the next you're not. I find it very strange for people to be like that, myself included, something I will never understand. But yeah, I get that once you've dated, there always be a certain amount of closeness.

HAHAHA! Yang, alalala so cute. I think he was very annoyed when I took the picture. This was us getting ready for prom, we went to A Cut Above, I have no idea why Yang and I spent so much on our hair, when looking back now, I could have easily done mine on my own, his as well. Oh well.

THIS ONE. No need description.

LOL, you know when this was? haha..this was after we had finished out Econs A2 paper and we lepaked in the common room. Then Quine had the ingenius idea of removing Bhav's blackheads. So yeah, Quine and I had soooo much fun doing this to him. I think people walked in and stared at him weird and left. XD!

This is what I freaking miss about KTJ okayh, meal times. Not the food, but the time we spend talking about sex(and very very sick sex) with all kinda just downright weird analogies and TTH with her so disgusting descriptions about things. 75% of the time, we end up talking about sex. I don't know why. We very sick. And the times we used to wake each other up for breakfast, oh god, that was hilarious. I'd call Yang, and wake Quine up almost every morning. The last day though, guess who woke me up, BHAVIK. haha. Dinner was fun too:

Steph: Dinner, 6:15

Quine: Got squash with Qays, make it 6:45

Kevin: oi, 6:15 la, hungry

Yang: Dota, 7 please. Or you all go first.

Bhavik: Dinner date, I'll go early.

After lights out, this is what we do. I dunno why, but we do very weird things. We talk to Vaginas. Sing. Plan to break people up. Bitch about people we hate. Whenever I got phone calls at night,

Steph: Oi, put your earphones in.

Quine: *rolls eyes* Okayh.

Well, I put my earphones in for you too, so. fair.

This was someone's birthday in the common room. We spent a lot of time together talking, bonding, MOS. Good times.

Alia, so cute right.

Can you see the Coke addiction, but Diet Coke is worse, I quit that liao. :)

I always liked invading her space, its what I do. This was prep btw XD!!!! Anyway, for some reason, we always end up on the same bed. Not anymore though :(

My cupboard, yayyy, I miss it, see all my heels kat bawah tu. My shirts hanging to dry, and my purple laundry bag. HAIH!

Do you see my busuk. You know I didn't bring busuk to Notts with me. I suffered the first few weeks, when I roll over and find nothing to hug, I jolt awake. Now I bunch up half of my duvet and pretend its my busuk. I'm so bringing it back here after winter break.

This was during the hockey match between Irinah and Jawahir. Obviously Serena and I were preoccupied :) She was my OBS partner. Dude, you seriously bond with whoever you're with okayh. She and I hugged each other to sleep for warmth when we camped on the beach and its started raining. OBS was good though, that's where Nick and I actually got close, and its lasted till now.

Right, I'm still wide awake, I'll find smtg else to occupy me.

Cheers.

Steph

Posted by Stephanie Kesavan at 5:20 PM | 0 comments

Mid Week Update

Greetings,

I have finally come up with an entire story for Mnight, presented it last night, the committee liked it. Hopefully the seniors will like it too tomorrow, *fingers crossed.

My Contract essay is due next Monday, I have yet to start anything. Next week is a busy week for me, research for my Understanding essay + auditions for the play + packing + flying home.

I went shopping today, I bought a gift for my mom. I got, the most beautiful earrings I have seen in quite awhile. I bought 4 pieces from H&M as well, H&M really should have sizes called 'Stephanie'. It drives me nuts, every time I go in there, there is bound to be some dress that I really like but doesn't have my size. I'm either a 6 or 8 depending on cutting. NOW, these people always only have 10 and above. I tried on this dress today that was pink and black which I really really adored, but it was 10 and the boob part was too big and the waist part didn't hold still. I don't have this problem with Zara, Zara has plenty of S sizes. This is the dress:

Anyway I did get a denim skirt which was like 10 or 12..really loose, but its okay la, just looks like a really low waisted skirt :p

After that, me, Von, Kev, and Marrisal had lunch at China China- I'm so addicted to Dim Sum. Gosh, Malaysian Dim Sum cannot compare. Then we went Wilkinsons, thennnnn..I went to cari kasut but..to no avail. Anyway, I came back and died on my bed, just woke up. I'm still full from lunch-THATS HOW MUCH WE ATE. I don't really know if I've lost or put on weight, because the last two weeks, I've been eating real food everyday, instead of my sandwiches due to my late Mnight meetings. SO. Ya. I can really eat a lot now you knowwww..when I come back you will be shocked to see the amount I'm able to stuff down, no kidding. Malaysian burgers are so small, I can eat two now, which really scares me. Oh well, prepare to see a whale during the holidays :)

Edoria and Caryn. First of all Doria, this wouldn't have happened if you had talked to me about it and second of all, I do hope things work out la..I was so looking forward to skyping with you two this Sunday.

Posted by Stephanie Kesavan at 1:01 PM | 0 comments

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Die Hard Fan Must Read!

Good Evening,

Just had Mario's with Kev. We ordered take out and pigged out watching George Carlin and Chris Rock. I'm tellin ya' honestly, almost all my friends, well good friends are dudes and one that is gender confused but leaning more towards the dude part. Why wasn't I born a guy.

See, most girls can't stand me, that's why I have like three and half close girlfriends. LOL, and I have like 8 close boyfriends. How on earth, did I manage that. I figure two things:

to be around me, you have to sensitive and insensitive at the same time.

Woohoo. I'm a genius.

That said, I still have yet to figure out the 500 words I'm to write for my Seminar thing tomorrow. My brain is just not working. Ergh.

First thing I'm going to buy tomorrow morning- Pepsi. I'm so addicted, I feel like I can't breathe right now without my 18spoonsofsugarcarbonateddrink. I told myself, turn over a new leaf. LEAVE THE ADDICTION BEHIND OR GO FOR THE 12 STEPS REHAB. I think my insomnia is really caused by all the carbonated drinks. Seriously. Doria told me to stop like a year ago, hehe..It's been a year, I'm still drinking Coke everyday. I'm going to die early no doubt.

I need, to go to the bus station to buy my bus ticket for the 9th. Open return ticket costs me 48pounds. WTF. That's like 300ringgit, are you serious?! 30,000fuckingmalaysiancents that could feed an entire village for a week, ARE YOU SERIOUS, for a motherfucking bus that takes 3 fucking hours to get from point A to point B?! Are you seriouusssss?! (Sorry, this is what watching too much Chris Rock does to me). It seems that National Express is indeed very serious about their bus fares. :)

Also, distance does nothing to change people. I thought that being far apart, awkwardness would set in with friendships. But. It doesn't..at..all. I was skyping with Caryn today, nothing has changed..lol..its still two of us..talking nonsense, sitting there, looking at each other like so stoned going 'eh, my life ah..dunno la' then the other one nods. Talked to Ash as well today, no difference, same-same retards on the phone, one in UK, one in India but still same, trying to annoy me to no end. Life's Good.

Right,thats all the B.S for today, I love Chris Rock, you know why? Because, its soooo true. George Carlin, god rest his soul(he should be turning in his grave if he read this), is a bit too cynical for me. Sorry, I like to think the world not so bleak.

Goodnight.

I love the title of this post, because if you bothered to read the load of crock I just wrote, you love me, YOU REALLY REALLY LOVE ME.

Posted by Stephanie Kesavan at 12:42 PM | 0 comments

Friday, November 20, 2009

New Moon Review

Hello.

Today, well my Mnight meeting was productive and not at the same time.. I do feel under pressure no doubt, but I like it, ya know? Nothing is without difficulty, just have to overcome it one at a time and not give up. :)

I watched New Moon as well. I have to say, what I like about, nay love about this movie is the setting, in terms of what I see in head when I read the book, it really is it. I think its brilliant that in terms of the setting they could capture it.

However, my tolerance for Bella is wearing thin. I'm just going to be very colloquial about this- Bella, the actress in the movie comes across as dumb, she looks dumb to me. Bella in the book seems to have a lot more to offer than what the actress is able to do. The way her gaze is always either shifting or downcast with her laboured breathing and her fidgeting, is not how I feel Bella in the book comes across.

In the first movie, it was alright, because it was faster. But the beginning of New Moon is really slow with a lot of slow dialogue between the characters, a lot of pausing, fidgeting, laboured breathing, which I felt was overdone- even Titanic didn't attempt to be so corny. I suppose what they were aiming at was like in the book-an overwhelming feeling between the two that attracts them like magnets, like it hurts to be near and far at the same time, but sad that it was poorly done. Bad attempt, real bad. And also, I found that a lot of times, I understood more about what was happening because I read the book, if you watch the film only, you get quite a different idea and feel of it as a whole.

As far as the Volturi was concerned, I immediately thought, spot on with casting because that was exactly who I pictured when I was reading the book, the Italian scene was good to me. The other scene that was really good was the one where Laurent meets Bella in an open field. That was good, because I remember getting so freaked out reading that scene and I would say when I was watching, I felt almost the same level of intensity. That said, I'd rather they have stuck with the same actor as the first movie for Laurent. In the first movie, it was that guy that was in Romeo and Juliet, now that guy, is good at what he does.

One other scene that was just pure idiotic because of how poorly it was done was when Bella cut her hand and Jasper went after her. It's been ten years since Neo in the Matrix did that, get over it, move on, stop doing it in every fucking movie. Christ. instead of everything in slow motion, it should have been fast and swift, it's constantly emphasized in the book, the fact that they're agile, swift, faster than your eyes can comprehend. The slow motion doesn't capture that.

So, good movie or not. My advice is, if you've read the book, don't bother. The first movie was very different, it was a lot better, what you see in the book and what you see on screen not much difference. Here. Well. All my opinion of course, I am really critical :)

Goodnight,

Steph

Posted by Stephanie Kesavan at 5:43 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, November 19, 2009

It's Long and its 1am

When I love you a little less than before..

Running back through the fire when there's nothing left to save..

I tried to forgive but its not enough to make it all okay..

I can't tell you something that ain't real..

that I love you a little less than before..

I think my insomnia thing is getting worse, my brain just doesn't stop working. It's bouncing from one thing to another, the play and my work. I need it to stop because I need to fucking sleep. I'm awake listening to James Morrison(as you can see from above) and Justin Nozuka.

You know what I really want right now?..To drive. Driving always calms me, takes my mind off things temporarily. I miss the days when I used to wake up, read, go gym then come back..driving to and from the gym I'd always listen to Corinne Bailey Rae, it's amazing, in the afternoon when its so hot, listening to something relaxing while getting stuck in the 5pm jams.

I also miss going to the river side, st pauls. Driving home at 2 in the morning, its very quiet. I don't get freaked out funnily enough, I enjoy the peace. It's just you and the road at that hour(in Malacca) especially during weekdays.

ERGH. I miss speeding. Like really fast with really loud music. There was one evening, I got into a fight with my dad, and I drove to Malim using the kampung road with Pitbull blasting really loudly and I was going at like 100?. LOL. On the way back though, I did almost die, at the Malim roundabout I was too preoccupied with my thoughts I didn't stop I just sped up and went into the roundabout thingy and this van thingy swerved to avoid me.

You know what else I miss? driving into Caryn's Taman and making that ass of a three-pointer. When I first got my license LOL- it.was.just.embarrassing. Caryn had to constantly check my mirrors for me so that I didn't hit that Merc that is always parked there so that I can conveniently dent it :) Good times, good times. Speaking of Tamans. Kota Laksamana.- Oh God. I can't tell you the number of times, I got lost looking for Ashveen's house and Bagi's house and I DO HAVE a good sense of direction. But when I come from turnings, I get really confused especially in the dark..

Oh ya, and when I go to my gym at Renaissance LOL. I always use the valet because I was tooo scared to dent my beemer going up that winding thing into the parking. Anyway there was one day, I forgot to bring my wallet, so couldn't park valet. AHEM. So, haha, I had to go UP THREE FLOORS of the winding thing. When, I was at the booth thing, the nice Malay man was like- "Miss, you park yourself today??" I nodded very nervously, and luckily made it all three floors, safe and sound, didn't dent my car or any other car.

However when I was in Dataran underground, I underestimated the size of my car and actually dented a Satria XD. I reversed and found another spot. I went back to inspect the Satria, then decided against leaving a note. I still feel bad.

I have to say though, there is nothing like driving on the highway. When I went to pick Quine, Yang and Kev from the airport. That was amazing, seriously, the road leading to the airport is like heaven to drive on. I did have Bhav to accompany me it was really fun, but it was really tiring though, so Bhav drove us home.

Most people don't know that I have a very attached to our home in Malim. Not the one that most of you have been to but another one that we stayed at when I was very young, only Trin has been I think. Anyway, reason I always drive to Malim is always to drive past that house when I'm upset. I had really good memories there and somehow, I always end up there when I'm upset. I like Notts, it's such a change and a change for the better. There are days though, like today where all I really need is a drive to clear my mind, but instead, here I am blogging, trying to relax.

_______________________________________________________________________

I'm looking forward to a new year. I think this year has been long with so much change. It seems like yesterday was that pool party the guys had for new years, it seems so recent, but because of all the events that followed, it seems to distant at the same time. It's funny how time works. Always found it just a little mocking at times. Time is unforgiving I've found, it really is wretched isn't it when you can't get unstuck and it's just passing you by, waiting for you to rot. And so, you always find yourself chasing it. Some people give up the chase and then all of a sudden, time seems to move slower because it matters less. This, is reminding me of Antony and Cleo, (Roman v Egyptian) times, I suppose then it's up to your reality to find time a pain in the arse like the Roman's did or that it almost didn't exist like the Egyptians.

-I definitely spend too much time thinking about these things.

Have I told you that I despise portraits of people? I'm not talking about frescos I'm talking about those that just hang on walls of corridors sitting there, staring at you. I hate those, not because I think it's creepy but I find it alarming that you'd want yourself painted. People used to tell me, it's a lot like taking a picture and immortalizing your beauty(reminds me of Dorian Gray) but I submit that there a difference between clicking a camera and another person using a paint brush getting to know you mighty well, every line on your face, every freckle, that you may not even know about yourself, maybe it's my issue with intimacy but I've always wondered, how strange, allowing a painter to get to know you that way. Which I suppose is what many photographers do now anyway..mmm..

I think after my two years of blogging you'd have realized I love renaissance art. Medieval art is just retarded to me. I heard someone say that the lack of perspective- the lack of beauty is the beauty of it. I find it easier to comprehend the ugliness of writing to be beautiful than actual visual ugliness, somehow beautiful ugliness is so subjective, it appears in your mind so different.

I'm pretty sure I've lost you by now, but its okay, I feel a lot less stressed than when I started writing this post.

Love

Steph

pray I actually get some sleep tonight.

Posted by Stephanie Kesavan at 3:29 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

It's going to be a long four months.

I'm exhausted. Exhausted, today because of my insomnia last night. I only got about two hours of sleep. Then lectures, then Mnight meeting for about three hours, just got home..I look really rundown, right now. Mascara is smeared, I smell of Cajun chicken and my brain is just a bit dead.

I need to work out a schedule for my work. I need to send out emails. First and foremost, I need to get my fucking coursework in hard copy, its pissing me off seriously. I wanna get the case analysis at least out of the way first then just go into everything else.

Lets see!

I have one Mnight script due.

I have one Contract essay due.

I have TWO research essays due.

I have one case analysis due.

I also have two exams in January- Tort and Contract.

BET YOU LOVE MY LIFE BITCHES!

I can tell you right now, December will be no holiday at all. Sorry guys, but I have a feeling, we're gonna lepak when I have the time. :) You are free to hate me now.

Cheers,

Steph.

Posted by Stephanie Kesavan at 1:23 PM | 0 comments

Monday, November 16, 2009

It is..Worth It.

:)) I know I said I wouldn't update, but today, was a good day. The Moot went better than I expected and, I performed better than I thought I'd be able to. The past two weeks were just bad for me(homesick and all that bullshit) and today after some very good feedback about my moot from my Prof. got me motivated again. I know to you, its really minor, but this is sort of proof that my efforts haven't gone to waste the past two months, not a big deal, but its' like that thing that happens that makes you feel-not-like-shit-about-your-work.

The Feedback directly from Prof. Murphy was:

Overall good pace but slow down just a little. Slowing down should help to ensure that your voice isn't under pressure.
Good, clear conclusion
Good responses to the Questions from the Judges.
and she did say our group gave one of the best efforts she's seen, apparently because she's seen tonnes so she's qualified to say so.

Now I show you gambar from my feedback sheet wokayh? XD

I haven't felt comfortable about my oral presentations since my debate, reason being the shit that I got from SFI-ians(I still resent the SFI debaters from that year, Bhavik not so much anymore). Last year, at the Oxbridge debate, I was good delivering but I waffled when questions were asked. Today though, finally. :)

Goobai

I need to work on Tort Tutorials now.